Having lost both my parents, as well as the passing of cherished pets, family, and friends- I am no stranger to grief. Grief is what comes from the loss of relationships or experiences, of something we have had or the loss of hope of what could be.
Everything in life is transient, none of us is immune to grief.
This year has been a tough one for most. We are in the midst of a mass extinction from ignoring the climate crisis that has been vying for our attention for decades. There is a global pandemic that has produced quarantines and isolation, physical “social” distancing, and many changes to our everyday life in a short amount of time. We grieve the dying planet, we grieve the loss of our lifestyle we had not long ago. Some of you may have lost loved ones to COVID, or your home to the wildfires that are currently raging on the West Coast, or experiencing grief in countless ways that are surfacing right now.
However and for whatever reason you are grieving, I honor you and your experience.
Instead of resisting the discomfort, because it IS uncomfortable, I have found it helpful to surrender to it. Sit with it and just let it be. Grief wants to be witnessed.
Tune into where you feel it in your body. Is it an upset belly? An aching heart? Shortness of breath? A lump in your throat? Something else?
I experience grief in my lungs and feel like I can’t breathe fully or catch my breath. There’s a heaviness on my chest.
I invite you to place your hand where you feel the grief being held in your body and read these affirmations. Repeat the ones you feel resonate with you as often as needed, or make up your own.
Affirmations:
“I surrender to what I am feeling and allow it to pass through me.”
“I know who I am and what I am meant to do in this lifetime.”
“I breathe in love and forgiveness, I breathe out love and forgiveness.”
“Even though I feel overwhelmed with discomfort in this moment, I know it will not last.”
“I love, forgive, and accept myself and others fully.”
“I accept what I cannot change and trust all is happening for my highest good and the highest good of all.”
To take the edge off and ease the discomfort of grief, I have found these Allies to be supportive:
Plant Allies:
Rose
Bleeding Heart
Osha
Star of Bethlehem (an ingredient in Bach’s Rescue Remedy flower essence, also available by itself)
Stones:
Rose Quartz
Apache Tears
Amethyst
Food as medicine:
Potatoes
Cauliflower
Coconut
Pear
Cashews
Macadamia nuts
I call on my well and wise Ancestors for comfort and support, as they also walked this Earth in human form and know what it is like to live the human experience.
If some time has passed and the grief isn’t fresh, it may be helpful to look at the experience through a different lens. What goodness can you find? Are there any people you met, opportunities you had, or changes that were made that otherwise probably wouldn’t have happened without it? How have you grown? Look for the lessons.
With my dad’s passing, I became much closer to my friend Tim who held space for me while I sobbed and grieved his sudden death. Later, a romantic relationship blossomed- we have now been together for 17 years and married for 12!
When my mom died during my pregnancy of my first son, it gave me a wake up call to re-evaluate what I trusted in our mainstream Western medical system and led me to question everything I thought I had known about health. I now am on a path of true health and have learned so much about natural medicine and natural living that benefits me and my family I otherwise probably wouldn’t have been as motivated to discover.
It can help to bring resolution and meaning when we reflect back on challenges. If this is not the stage you are in yet, please don’t try to rush it. Honor yourself where you are now. It will come.
There are many stages to grief and healing is not linear, nor is it ever truly over. You might think it is and then “wham!” you’re feeling all the feelings again- and that’s ok. It’s all a part of the process.
The most important thing is to be gentle with yourself and your experience.
Comfort yourself like you would tend to a child.
Follow your intuition on what YOU need, because ultimately you are the expert on yourself and know what will nourish your soul best.
If I can be of support through energy work and intuitive healing for some extra TLC, please reach out and work with me.
With love,
Christen
Earth Star Healing Arts 